Friends in Wonderland

Since the last one and a half years life has been so hectic on the universal holiday "SUNDAY". Sunday is college day for me. And even today there are moments when I say why did I do this to myself. But as the time is getting closer for this course to get over and me to say Bye-Bye to IMI i do feel a lil sad. It will be sad not being able to meet some one of my closest friend after every two days and every sunday. With time they have become such an integral part of my life that not meeting them every now and then will take away lot of fun and happiness from life.

It was the first day at college, and I went to say hi to three guys standing in a corner- Tarun, Saurabh and Sid. Since that day these three have ALWAYS been there for me. They are always so patient with me. Smile at all my stupidities, take my tantrums and lend me a hand whenever I need to come out of my wonderland. Tarun, is always the one to give me a hug and check if im happy with everything in my life. He will be the first guy I will call up if I need help and I am stuck anywhere. Saurabh will come along to watch movies when I have no one to go with, will smile happily to see me lost in my wonderland (as he calls it) but would shake me up to wake me from my dreamy world and prepare for exams and most importantly will walk besides me to catch me when im probably gonna fall. And sid will pretend to fight with you on the surface but will understand things which you don't really expect people to understand without telling them about it.

But as time passed I got to know some more amazing people who became such good friends over time. Vrinda, my closest friend among the girls in college and one of my closest girls otherwise too. There are so many things about us which make us similar personalities but so many things about us which are completely different. We truly hit off like a house on fire but when we get nasty (with each other or some one around) it is actually a time to call the fire brigade! :p Whenever these guys make us go crazy with such stupid guy logic that they posses by the virtue of their gender, we two girls just thank god for having each other around!

Manjeet, the guy who doesn’t talk much. Never says anything apart from few sentences here and there (exception being a discussion on money, these marwaris I tell u :p) but is there for me at any time of the day. We don’t talk for days and days but at the back of my head I know he is one of those people in my life I can always fall back on. And Ashish, this guy can walk away with my degree once I’m done with my course. Traveling has gifted me so many good friends in life. And he is certainly one of them. On our way to and back from college, he is always there listening to my constant yap yap and doing small little things like playing my favourite songs to bring a smile on my face!

Of course Vipin, the one who seems to be sanest is actually the one with the craziest sense of humour. It’s amazing to have someone like him around who can actually make a crying person laugh with his witty one liners.

It’s so much fun to have all of you around. I feel so secure when I know that I have friends like you who bring so much to my life. And I hope this continues like this forever and not becomes a case of out of sight out of mind.

The ass I am, have never said this before, but thank you guys for being such amazing friends. One Sunday I don’t meet you all and I feel something is missing. Probably my wonderland. So alice is alice because of her wonderland and you are the ones who make it so wonderful! :)

Back Then

Day before, I went to this particular Costa Coffee outlet & I realized how I have gone there with so many different people at such different stages & moods in life. That coffee shop has seen me with my boss for a chat over coffee, with his daughter who had me as her boss sharing coffee walnut pastry after splitting the walnut piece from the middle, with my bhai & his girlfriend when he & I used to fight but talk indirectly through her, with my best friends discussing our crushes & heart-breaks & at times alone just feeling sad or happy not knowing why half the times.

But as I was sitting there, I recalled this particular incident when I had very high fever (to be precise typhoid, not knowing about it till then though) & I was having a cup of coffee alone at around 8-9 in the night. And I was feeling so weak & lost. I had no energy to even hold the coffee cup. Out side it was raining with a small lil child begging me for money standing just outside the glass door. And my best friend called to blast me on knowing what I was upto with such high fever. But she was also confused as to what had happened, what was I feeling. All I could jokingly tell her that I was feeling like a protagonist from a classic movie or novel!!! I went there after that incident for atleast 50 times. And now after so many months now, I was sitting there waiting for a friend, I just recalled that one particular incident the most, but this time I knew precisely how I was feeling back then -


pondering but confused

talkative but bottled up

doubtful but trusting

broke but generous

fickle but faithful

lost but holding on

sad but smiling

heart-broken but an optimist

trapped but free-spirited

unsure but hopeful


And this made me realize how much I have changed in the last one & a half year or so. Slowly, I started living life in a way which I never did. Taking each day at a time. Not that it was or is easy for a person like me. There are days when I feel like a blind person who knows how to take these steps down but still doesn’t have an option of looking forward to see which step is where. Faith is your answer in such situations. Faith in your self. You might not be able to see where each step of yours is taking you but somewhere deep inside you know that you won’t fall & even if you do you will still have the energy & poise to get up & take the last step. But then, I was not even born as per plan. Chandigarh instead of Delhi, June instead of August, Cancerian instead of a Leo. What happened was destined & not what was predicted or planned. So when your birth was so spontaneous then when why should your life not be. Life is certainly not a flowchart! Faith is what keeps you happy even when you don’t have all the answers.

Thank you my lil angel!!

It is actually so very rare,
to always have someone weave & share,
your small or big hopes and dreams,
when plenty around are skeptical it seems.


Who really cares & truly loves you,
not just for things perfect but everything you do,
not for deceptive perceptions but inspite of whatever you are,
no matter the flavour of life might be sweet or sour.


I am blessed to have found a lil angel as such a friend,
who helps me take the turn when the road has a bend.
Who takes immense pride in my optimism & loves me for it,
but whenever I'm low, brightens my day with her amazing wit.


Always wonder if I would have ever been the same,
without having you around crack jokes which at times are even stupid & lame.
Minus your infectious smile & crazy laugh life would have been so dull,
Dread to think of how I would have manged without you when there was such a long lull.


You made a difference by telling me that it makes absolute sense,
to take a risk by going to other side of the fence.
And have courage to make my own rules of the game,
but only if, come what may, I'm willing to stick to the same.


No wonder you say that when you want something then might as well want it badly enough.
Whenever I do, you help me fly towards it, yet catching me fall if at all the weather goes rough.



Thank you my lil angel!!!

my first job!

Since the time I started working I always used to wonder if il ever be able to leave my first job without having to break the bonds I had made there, and today when I have been able to do that I couldn’t have been more happier. Moving on without the feeling of leaving anything behind is beautiful. Having said that, nothing can ever compensate for the moments which would have become beautiful memories, had I been there. I will have another job but I am not sure if will ever have another family like I did when I left college to start out all by myself. God couldn’t have been more kind. A lil girl just out college, still trying to recover from a personal tragedy was blessed with another family. All these years I have spent at Indus have been truly beautiful & probably the most enriching period of my life. The place which made me a lady from a 20 year old girl who was so unsure about so many things in life. The place which always treated me like one of the "boyz"!

Above all, Indus gave me my mentor. The person who by practice taught me that if you know what you are doing & you have the courage to see any plan back-fire then there is no reason why you can’t rebuild whatever you may lose by taking a chance. Eternal optimists we are, and couldn’t have been more proud of it. So many times we both have been so disappointed because of believing in the goodness of life & people around us but we still believe that it was & shall always be worth it. It’s always better to be disappointed in the end than be hopeless from the beginning. As I once said, “I am small subset of the bigger set called Pradeep Kant.” No one in this whole world is so similar to me as Pradeep is.

It still needs to sink in that every morning I don’t have to go to Nehru Place. I no longer look forward to reaching office & eating my favourite anda parantha or bread omlette. The pattern which had formed in the last three and a half years will take a lot of time to fade out. So many things which I had got so used to doing every day, I just cant do any longer. Going to my favourite Costa outlet & having the almond pastry with Ayesha. Or having the Darjeeling tea with her. Asking Nishant to get me a chocolate. And telling him that god never made him a chocolate boy, but I did!! Or giving a self-awakening lecture to Ajay. Or going to Pradeep and asking him the dumbest possible question knowing that no matter how dumb it would be he would still reply to each question of mine. Certainly not without giving me the best possible expression as a reaction of how dumb could I be!!! On my first day he told me that “you are allowed to ask me 1000 questions but I will never answer a dumb question”, but still I tricked him to answer so many such questions all this while.

Today when I am away I still know that I am not apart from the family PK has made in the form of indus. And I shall never be. But somehow it will take me a long time to get used to without having to meet my favourite people every single day. Not meeting the boss, who certainly is the best boss in the world. Each & every friend of my mine envied me for having a boss like him. And it was not just because they all thought that he looks like a million bucks!!! ;)

Not going after Nishant’s life & telling him what a looser he is & with each word of mine bringing his worth all the more down.
Not fighting with Ajay & making him realize how he made such a mistake by once teaching me so many small lil secrets of the trade.

Not having to fight at lunch with Prakash & Rauthan for not ordering from Lala.

And not having to make Ayesha say “sorry shaktiman”!!

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, all first things are & shall always be very special to me. My first job, my first boss, my first day at work, my first set of collegues, my first mail to a client, and all such firsts shall always hold a special place in my heart. Indus has now become as special to me as my college. No matter how much time goes by, it shall always feel like yesterday. And shall be always as special as it always was. And ever day I will miss it as bad as I did one the first morning when I didn’t have to get up to go to office.

Peace

Nothing left to prove,

nothing left to say,
nothing which has to be pushed to make it move,
finally nothing to keep me away!

No longer do I live for a day which might never come,
Iv begun to enjoy the today, even if its not all but just some.

If the today is so nice,
I see no reason why my tomorrow would be anything otherwise!

Finally, the eternal optimist in me has woken up again!!!! :)