My FIRST best friend!!!

The other day i was reading a quiz (reading not answering) and i came a cross a question "Who is your first best friend?" Had the term "first" not been there i would have listed so many names but since it was "first", it had to be Romi Roy.

A person like me who gives a hell lot of importance to the all the "firsts" in life couldn't have been more glad that my FIRST best friend is Romi. Sometimes we make choices in life which we can still be proud of even after 10 years. This seems to be a blessing when today we can't even be proud of some choices even after 10 months.

Although, there have been really close friends even before i met Romi, and when I say close friends i mean the best of friends. But when ever i have to name my first best friend, i always name her. She was the "first" friend who changed me for better. She showed me what I could be. She made me confident. Confident about myself. Confident about life. She made me overcome a lot of fears i used to have at that time. In fact she met me at one of my lowest points in life. Had it not been her, probably i wouldn't have been the Kamna today my so many other friends like as a person. Yet hardly any one of my friends have heard me talking about Romi like i yap about almost everyone else. Some people are very special. But ask my family & they will tell what you what Romi means for me. What she meant for me back then & what she means even today.

We were together only for an year, this seems to be so less in comparison to the time i have spent with all my other friends. But since when have people like us started weighing the worth of relationships in terms of the number of days spent with the other person. And not that we are not friends now..

When i had left Ambala almost ten years ago, I didn't know if i will ever meet Romi again. This was thanks to the fact that we both belong to army families. Infact today she is the only friend of mine who also happens to be an army officer's daughter. Its been 10 years, I still haven't met her as such but when three years ago I got back in touch with her I was just so happy. And now i do have this hope of meeting her someday. Meeting my FIRST best friend. For that either Calcutta will have to come to Delhi or Delhi will have to go there!!

Life has changed so much in the last years. We have changed so much in the last ten years that it will be amazing to see my childhood friend from a new perspective. That friend who had this habit of saying "By Jove"! Memories always seem so to be so fresh!!

Thanks Romi!! :)

Mirror Images

Yesterday was a very hectic day. So much of work that even if we would stayed the night in office it wouldn't have got finished. Suddenly i had to rush to Gurgaon, that too without eating anything. So obviously i wasn't feeling great, thanks to the hunger pangs. And it was so damn hot. To distract myself I started reading the book i was carrying (Puppet on a chain by Alistair Maclean). Couldn't have picked a better book, on a better day & in a better place. On my way towards the IFFCO chowk as i had the central mall on my right, i couldn't continue with the reading. I once again realised that this book i was reading wasn't mine. And when i had picked it, i had the intentions of returning it to the friend i had borrowed it from. Now its different. And i once again started cursing myself for this habit of relating things, people, places etc. etc.

After i recovered from my workload shock after my meeting, once again i started connecting the dots around me. It was time to call the person who has taught me in the last few months as to how to treat things as just things. Suvidha, my best friend & my mirror image. We are so similar that's its freaking. And the moment i called her & said "hi" she knew im not doing too well. and she just asked "Wat's up"? All i had to say was "I'm in gurgaon." Although i go to Gurgaon every other day but Suvidha knew what I really meant this time. She just knew I was not fine. And that's something she can never tolerate. And the moment she realised I am outside Central, MGF etc. she knew where i was headed to. And where this conversation is headed to. While talking to her I started missing the third member of our group, Geetanjali. She & I had so much fun in Metropoplitan sometime back. And I couldn't help but have a big smile. And i realised how easily our brain connects places & objects to people. And how easily it moves on. Like mine moved on from Central to MGF. And also how everything changes once you take a U-turn & come on the other side of the road.

But still i was pissed with this habit of mine which makes me connect everything to something or the other, someone or the other. Suvidha, instead felt that its a very nice thing. And what she said made me feel happy, proud & less apologetic about this habit. She was like " I am glad that you are still so sensitive to everything, that too towards small small things around you. At least you are not cold, you still feel bad and good about so many things. I would have been worried if you wouldn't have been feeling like this. Because that's not you, that was not you, and you are still you! And the best is that its not out of sight out of mind for you." After listening to her, i thought yes probably its a good thing. What is the harm in being sensitive to things, places & people. I have always been like this. And why should I feel bad about habits which make me what i am. But i certainly could have done without the last part of her sentence. But once again in life i felt so blessed to have her in my life. Once more Suvidha turned everything around. By the time I reached Nehru Place, both of us were giggling like crazy girls. But that's how we are. We are mirror images.

Although we have been best friends since a very long time but post September, after she got married, our friendship has matured all the more. Although I think that we have lost it all the more with each passing day!!! In the last six months or so, i have always looked up to her for support, advice, love, care & affection. She is one person who is so intuitive. I never have to tell her what will make me happy. She just knows it. That's why i probably initially don't tell her what i really want. One, I can't hide anything from her & two if she knows that something makes me happy, she will also want the same thing for me. And for both of us, either we get what we want or we don't want it at all. When we know that we deserve the bar of chocolate, why the hell will we settle for for Eclairs. Right Suvidha? Lot of people may call this being adamant. We call it "clarity". Of what we want & what we don't. We might not always get what we want, but we certainly don't settle for something we don't want. Good or bad but Suvidha & I just don't treat anything in life "casually". Having said that, Suvidha is one person who actually teaches me how to "chill"!!Lot of times she tells me, to just give myself a break. In between all the stupidities we do, Suvidha has taught me so much about life. That too while giggling!!!!!

And must say I have been a good student. This I realised when the other day while yapping on the phone, she asked to go switch on the TV & watch "how i met your mother". I said "no I don't want to watch it". She was like "Kamna its just a show!". And all i replied was "Exactly its just a show, a show I am not a regular viewer of. Why should I leave everything I am doing to watch it when I am not really in the mood to watch TV. And what i really want to do is to talk to my best friend, that exactly what I am doing." And although, i could not see her, but i knew she smiled at my reply. I am sure she must have felt proud that finally I did learn which she taught me. How to treat things as things. Just things. By watching it then, trying to prove a point, i would have actually defeated the whole purpose.

Thanks Suvidha, for everything you have done in all these years & more so in all these months. How you used to drag me to the farm thinking it will lift my mood, and trust me it really did. How you used to be beside me to stop me from going into my handy-shell. And more than anything else how once you told me that the ever-optimistic Kamna is becoming a pessimist. She has started looking at the galss as half-empty. The made me feel scared. Scared of no-longer remaining your mirror image. The best compliment i have ever got in my life is from you, when you said that "Kamna we are mirror images". If am YOUR mirror image, then I have to be amazing! And Awesome too!!! ;)

Thank you friends!

Although almost my weekends are fun & happy but yesterday was all the more amazing! I met friends who can do ANYTHING to bring a smile on my face. And by the time the day came to an end I once again realised that iv been blessed with the most amazing set of friends!!! I am sure all of us feel the same for our friends but at the cost of sounding boastful I can say that no one can beat MY friends!! Not only do i have quality but also quantity!!!!!

At times I feel, that its my friends only who have made me the Kamna I am today. Of course my family, teachers & mentor do share this place but my friends have handled me at my absolute best & absolute worst, that too beautifully.

They have made me so used to so much love, care & attention all the time that not only they but somewhere even I cant stand it when someone treats me like an unwanted object in their life. I am not an attention freak but somehow I'm now so used to getting so much attention all the time that any less attention than this is something very unusual for me. This doesn't mean that i am always treated like a queen. But yes, not less than a princess certainly. You see there is a difference.

Having said that, my friends are the first people to say NO to me when they think i am being unreasonable. They are the first ones to show me the mirror. They are the first ones to tell me to improve if i am trying to make too high aims. And they are also the first ones to stop me when i think of settling for anything less than i deserve.

They are the first people to come & pull my hand when they see that I'm hell bent on burning it. But what makes them amazing is that if i will still insist on having my own way (which is what i mostly do) then they don't stop me instead try their best that they are the ones who are proved wrong in the end. Yes they try to lose to make me win. But even after everything if i do burn my hand, they are the first few people to rush and pull my burnt hand out of the fire. But will never say that that "see we told you". Instead they will tell me, "I am glad you did what you wanted to. Its important to burn your hand at times".

And then so sweetly they will all gather around me & treat me like a baby. They will make sure that this baby who was howling till a lil while ago has the most amazing smile on her face. They never rest, till this smile is back. Thank you Friends!

So this post is to thank all those friends of mine who bring a smile on my face with the small & big things they do for me.

The friend who will take off her own earrings & give to me if i like them!

The friend who bothers himself so much late at night to give my blog a new look!

The friend who will drive for 80KMs in spite of not being well just to get a surprise from me!

The friend who will call me almost every morning asking if we can meet, even if we met just the last day.

The friend who will ask me to accompany her to a holi party every year even when she knows that i hate holi!

The friend who will not let me go to sleep with tears in my eyes, even if she herself is capable of crying while sleeping!

The friend who calls me the most amazing girl he knows!

The friend with whom all my answers lead to another question from him!

The friend whom i call a "doggie" but who will instead make me run with him in the middle of the road to save his momos from a greedy doggie!

The friend who calls me "a set-top box" or "tata free flow namak" and he is soon gonna come up with more I'm sure!

The friend who thinks i had cholera when i actually had typhoid!

The friend who will always drag me to buy a cigarette with him every time we meet, even when that's after days or months!

The friend who will try his best to get tea or coffee made for me in a pub, when am not well!

The friend who will very sweetly hold a karlsberg bottle in hand & say "ek sip to pi le".

The friend who will make me have gol-gappas when i go to meet her.

The friend who will write the sweetest poem for me.

The friend who will plan a movie-marathon with me & for me, & thus gift me with one of the most memorable days!

The friend who will come & gift me with something I so wanted to have but still hadn't started searching for.

The friend who always let me even abuse her but will never say anything to me or listen to anything against me.

The friend who will insist on dropping me back home in late evening even when she herself doesn't know the way back!

The friend who never meets me but will come all the way to wish me before a major exam!

The friend who will come dressed in a saree to surprise me when i am not well!

The friend who will send me to buy a match box for him so that he can have his sutta.

The friend who will leave a chocolate on top of my bag whenever he knows that i feel like having one.

The friend who will expect me to jump from the back seat to the front seat of her car, and laughs out like hell when i actually do that!

The friend who will make a hookah when i go to her place but will not force me to have it if i don't want to.

The friend who will give too much head-room in the pictures he clicks!

The friend who takes me along to goa just like that!

The friend who sends me the most beautiful birthday cards ever!

The friend who is ready to bet his hard-earned money on the question if its "he is just not that into you" or its "she is just not that into you"!

The friends who fight amongst themselves as to who will be the best man at my wedding!

The friend who vanishes from the face of this planet then puts the blame on me!

The friend who will meet me after months, & not a crib that a girl like me who is known to have great keeping in touch skills doesn't keep in touch with her.

The friend who asks me to have Pepsi when we both are feeling low!

The friend who leaves this world after leaving a message for me to keep smiling.

All these & many more friends, who touch my life in the beautiful manner that they do. If friends weighed in gold. I would have probably been the richest person on this planet. :)